OK so here are my starting stats:
Weight: 100.50Kg
BMI: 36.07
Neck - 39cm
Upper Arm - 40.50cm
Lower Arm - 30cm
bust - 110.50cm
Belly Button (stomach)- 108cm
Hips (including fat in front)- 115cm
Upper Leg - 72.50cm
Lower Leg - 47cm
Hopefully i will never be HERE again
Sunday, August 10, 2008
I'm an Addict
It hit me last night that i am an addict.
I am addicted to food. To everything about food. The way it makes you feel when you eat it, the way you seek it for comfort, the way it makes you guilty when you eat something you shouldn't. Everything.
And then i am addicted to the other sides. the mental panics, the body image issues. the whole darn package. So last night i looked up what an eating disorder was. and well i'm pretty sure i have one.
According to the authors of Surviving an Eating Disorder, "feelings about work, school, relationships, day-to-day activities and one's experience of emotional well being are determined by what has or has not been eaten or by a number on a scale." (Siegel, Michaele, Brisman, Judith and Weinshel, Margot. Surviving an Eating Disorder. New York: Harper and Row Publishers. 1988.)
Well that is certainly me. So i thought i would start a blog and share my journey with - well mostly me (because i haven't told anyone about this site). Some how writing this down and publishing it - it makes it more real.
I am addicted to food. To everything about food. The way it makes you feel when you eat it, the way you seek it for comfort, the way it makes you guilty when you eat something you shouldn't. Everything.
And then i am addicted to the other sides. the mental panics, the body image issues. the whole darn package. So last night i looked up what an eating disorder was. and well i'm pretty sure i have one.
According to the authors of Surviving an Eating Disorder, "feelings about work, school, relationships, day-to-day activities and one's experience of emotional well being are determined by what has or has not been eaten or by a number on a scale." (Siegel, Michaele, Brisman, Judith and Weinshel, Margot. Surviving an Eating Disorder. New York: Harper and Row Publishers. 1988.)
Well that is certainly me. So i thought i would start a blog and share my journey with - well mostly me (because i haven't told anyone about this site). Some how writing this down and publishing it - it makes it more real.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Time for a Change
I woke up the other morning and decided that my life HAD to change.
No real epiphany, no magical moment. I just woke up and realised what my life had come to. Its a sad little shell of a life really - that revolves around hating my work (Which is nearly all of my weekly life) and putting myself down for my inability to look like a movie star. And lets face it. You should have more in your life than that - right?
So i lay there in bed for the 30 seconds i had to myself and thought - what do i really want out of my life? Or at least what would make it better than it is now?
About an hour later - when i was on the tram and the man across me was singing loudly along in time with his ipod - i revisited these questions. What did i really want in my life? that was too difficult to answer so i decided to tackle the slightly less disturbing question of what could i do to improve this life.
Well i thought to myself - Better health, More exercise, Less fat, better eating patterns, being less tired, less stress, and the list went on - literally all the way to work.
So i am going to focus on getting better health - doing more exercise and loosing all the excess weight i have - which is alot.
I have a feeling this time it will work - i know it will be incredibly difficult - but i'm up for the challenge. i dont want my life to be like this next year...
No real epiphany, no magical moment. I just woke up and realised what my life had come to. Its a sad little shell of a life really - that revolves around hating my work (Which is nearly all of my weekly life) and putting myself down for my inability to look like a movie star. And lets face it. You should have more in your life than that - right?
So i lay there in bed for the 30 seconds i had to myself and thought - what do i really want out of my life? Or at least what would make it better than it is now?
About an hour later - when i was on the tram and the man across me was singing loudly along in time with his ipod - i revisited these questions. What did i really want in my life? that was too difficult to answer so i decided to tackle the slightly less disturbing question of what could i do to improve this life.
Well i thought to myself - Better health, More exercise, Less fat, better eating patterns, being less tired, less stress, and the list went on - literally all the way to work.
So i am going to focus on getting better health - doing more exercise and loosing all the excess weight i have - which is alot.
I have a feeling this time it will work - i know it will be incredibly difficult - but i'm up for the challenge. i dont want my life to be like this next year...
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